What is the reason of your suspicion; have you heard it from someone, or do you just a feeling of jealousy and insecurity. If you heard it from a friend you should try to look into the situation and what your friend is telling. Is there something you could do to get evidence and certain what they are saying is true? I am not saying your friend is lying, but some might have a hidden motive of separating you two. So listen carefully and try look if there is more to confirm what is told. To hear someone say she messing around might be a bit vague to confront them with. Please make sure your information is reliable. My point is that it might hurt you to wrongly accuse a person of being unfaithful.

You might of course have either have strong instincts that are right, or found information concluding with certainty that your girlfriend have been going behind your back.

As I said previous, if you only got a instinct for her cheating you should only ask some way which doesn’t hurt. If she answer with “of course not! How could you ask such a thing?” or maybe some ironic way of saying no you might have to get more certain by something you witnessed or know from previous.

If you are certain you have to clarify several questions, both emotionally and physically; she might get STD, and how can you handle be one of several?  You should also ask yourself: What advice would you give your best friends, what advice would you give to your brother? If you had told them to leave their partner; maybe that’s best for you too; if you told them to fight for their love you should fight to be together.

I think men are terrible at sharing feelings, at least I hate to show a really vulnerable side of myself, but you should defiantly talk with your girlfriend and explain how you feel. How she hurt you. What emotions that affected you. You should also clarify for yourself how you want your future relationship, and explain this to your girlfriend too. It is important both are involved in the process if you want to go on. And if you are unsure her reaction and feelings might help you to clarify if this really is the person you want to share your life with. You might learn she is filled with regret and pain over hurting, or you might learn she don’t care at all. So it’s worth having a talk before making your final decision.

It might be a need for a break to think, maybe settle on two weeks to really think over the issue, but don’t make the break to long, but both agreeing on a certain point, three days, a week, or maybe two weeks you talk it again. The break might be sleeping in different rooms, and socializing with friends, or exercising on the evening to get a break. A nice walk in the darkness might also help. Just don’t make the distance to big, and don’t be to close if you need time to think. Find compromises on how and when to make a decision.

It is also important to talk with her when able, and at least if you have made a decision. She deserves to know your decision, as you don’t want to lower yourself as a person filled with revenge.

3) Spying
This one is; like the other methods immoral, but it’s not illegal in most countries. The most classic one is hiring a private investigator and get pictures or other proofs of anything wrong happening.  Another option, which is cheaper, is to ask a friend to follow them and take pictures or whatever he can find, you could of course do this yourself, but its often best using a friend she does not know about to uncover it as its less chances you get exposed for your actions. It’s nothing more humiliating than being caught as jealous with no reason.  As I mentioned in the signs of a cheating girlfriend series; there might be a reason for changes in your partners behavioral.

4) Confront your partner with the signs you have seen
This is the most risky one, and it leaves out a large possibility she will lie when confronted, but the evidence you have found might be strong enough for her to admit everything. It’s really hard keeping such a secret; and if the signs you have collected are strong enough she might find there are no other alternatives than telling the truth. However; this method might also get your girlfriends angry with you and end up in the two of you separating. You should also remain calm and direct on facts while talking. Another method might be to pretend to know more than you really know and she might confess. So even if you are direct, you should only give some and some information. Pretending to know more than you actually know and she might misspeak or confess.
All of the methods above, whether illegal, immoral or wrong you should keep in mind that talking in the wrong way might end the relationship. If you really care and love your partner you should talk seek understanding and finding a solution for both of you. It is not impossible to forgive an action like this if you really are filled with love; but it’s essential that you both talk it, find the wrongs in the relationship causing it and working for a mutual relationship. I do recognize that sometimes you get really hurt and it affects the truth in the relationship, and there is no other option except to end the relationship. We will discuss both understanding and looking at thoughts to make before making this decision.

1)    Hiring a black hat hacker
This is illegal in most countries and is punishable by fines and/or prison. There are however people on the internet that can hack your girlfriends email/msn/social websites.  If you do this you should be aware that hacking is most likely illegal in your country; however it should be worth saying you should not pay any hacker in advance. Many pretend to be hackers but are in reality scammers only wanting your money, and have no interest in your problems. A serious hacker would provide you with proves that they got the password before you pay them.  These proves are generally in terms of screenshots from their profiles or emails.

2)    Key loggers
There are also a lot of key loggers on the market today; and you should be advised it is illegal in most countries to install key loggers on someone else’s computer. To this legally you should have it installed on your own private computer and not someone else’s computer. Some of the key loggers you get are USB based and put all the information to the USB drive. There are also much software based, and they often store the files in directories and you can check anything she has written/received on the instant chat messenger, or any mails written on the computer. Some also let you access the files from internet and you don’t have to do anything enter the local computer. You should be aware that most antivirus software can detect key loggers, so they should be installed manually on the computer and making exceptions for the key logger in the antivirus settings. There are software allowing for remote installation; but they are easily stopped by antivirus; or giving the user a warning prior installation.
We will continue discussing some methods in part 2 of this series.

10) Detailed explanations
If your girlfriend suddenly starts giving detailed explanations to where she have been or what she have done it might indicate she have planned a story and want to take any suspicions away from her real actions.

11) Your friends common changes get abnormal behavioral
Another sign you should be aware of is your friends; some of them might know what’s going on, but are too afraid to tell you.  Instead of directly telling you they might be telling you indirectly by the guilt they feel covering up for your girlfriend. You will often be able to pick up if they feel uncomfortable spending time with you.

12) Smell
A lady might need to cover senses by either using more cologne, or even having a smell of a shampoo she never uses.  It might not always be she is covering up the act before coming home; and instead have frequent showering or “cleaning” immediately after returning to your home. Another change that might occur is daily washing of her cloth, so you should also keep an eye on the laundry. It might be she wants to clean away traces of any affair going on right away.

13) Trust your guts
Sometimes your guts will tell you if you learn about lies. For example she might have told you she was doing something, but you later learn she wasn’t where she told you. Or you notice a guilt hanging over your girlfriend. Sometimes things like this give you a gut feeling and you should try finding a logical explanation to why your gut feelings are so strong.
I have in this article series covered the thirteen most common signs for a cheating partner. If you come by any of these signs you shouldn’t definitely accuse your partner of cheating; but instead make more observations and logical resonations to why these changes have occurred. It might be valid reasons for any changes in people behavioral pattern; but it might also be the worst case scenario. She is unfaithful and cheating on you.

5) Deleting messages on her phone
If your girlfriend previously kept her messages on her phone but suddenly need a “privacy” and start deleting her messages immediately after sending or receiving them it might indicate she has communication with a guy and don’t want you to know about it

6) Changes in her schedule
Yes; we should admit it sooner than later; most ladies are well organized and have planned out their days. It is hard to keep such a big secret from their partner so they will need to make it fit between work, family and time with you. If she suddenly is not where she normally is at certain point of her day it might indicate she is spending time with someone else.

7) She talks a lot about someone else
This you might have noticed from a sister or maybe a female friend you had in your past. When they talk a lot about someone or admire someone it might indicate its more than just admiration or interesting situations that occurred; it might very well indicate she have strong feelings for this person she keep bringing up over and over again; so be very cautious if this suddenly occur.

8)    Physical contact changes
Another sign to be aware of is changes in their physicals life with you. If there is suddenly more passionate love between you, or opposite; less kisses and passionate love it might indicate she is either getting “bored” with you, or need to convince you nothing is going on and make more passionate love with you.

9)    Gifts  or “nicer”
Many feel a natural guilt over cheating on their partner. This I assume is a natural human behavioral, as it applies both for woman and men. If your girlfriend suddenly starts buying you gifts, or her natural behavioral towards you changes you should be aware she is covering something and feeling guilty. It might not be buying you a gift; but doing more favors for you, being more nice etc it might be the guilt of actions appearing.
We have now looked at a few more signs you should be aware of if you suspect your girlfriend is cheating on you. We will look at the third and final part (for now) in our next article.

1)    Changes in behavioral
A change in her actions and behavioral pattern might indicate her thoughts and feelings are different, and maybe for someone else. Let’s look at a few examples: she is distant while doing things with you; previous she enjoyed watching movies with you, but recently she have started to distance herself; not getting what movies are about or simply being distanced while doing things she previously loved to do with you. Please keep in mind this is not a certain sign as other things might be on her mind as well.

2)    Money
Another sign that might be a bit more certain is changes of her money usage. At some point while being while being with her you start to learn her pattern in usage of money; if you notice changes as increased usage of money for gas or her having less money than usual without any explanation to what the money were used for you might need to check more closely what is happening.

3)    Appearance
Sudden changes in her appearance might also be a clue for you. It’s actually related to money; but she can still show what the money is used for. It is natural as people want to look and feel better when meeting new people. It could be subtle changes in clothing and hair; even perfume; however the most significant sign to look out for is underwear. Girls often want to use new and sexy underwear when they are with a new partner. So if she uses “boring” underwear while with you and sometimes more sexy underwear while going outside it might be a sign of your girlfriend cheating on you.

4)    New email/chatting accounts
Its common knowledge for people that it’s easy to check where you have made calls; to substitute for this they often uses email or msn/yahoo instant messenger.  So keep attention to her using new mail accounts; or changing password if you previously knew her password.
We have now looked at four actions that might indicate your girlfriend is cheating on you. These signs are of course not proves in themselves since there might be valid reasons for these changes; but you should pay more attention if they appear.
In part 2 of this series we will look a bit more on signs you should be awake for.